The #1 Thing I Can Do Right Now To Help You Out

Every once in awhile, you have a day that really stands out. Something major happens and it really influences your thinking, your actions, and, well – you.

Yesterday was one of those days for me. You might be able to relate. Here’s what happened.

I had 3 very important conversations – and the last one was the most important of the three.

My first conversation was with my business coach. (Yes, I have a business coach. I’m not naturally gifted in business – I’m a gym rat at heart. I lift heavy stuff. Put it down. And help others achieve their physical goals.) Anyway, he pointed out some mistakes I was making and how I was failing to fulfill my customers’ needs. (Ouch! And if you’re my customer – first, thanks, and second, sorry – will do better.) That’s a tough thing to hear.

My second conversation was with Pavel. Just love talking to him – he’s just brilliant. The thoughts he has and the info he knows about the human body and training is just staggering. Anyway, I asked him about a particular exercise and why I was struggling to see results with it. Long story short, because I was approaching it wrong. My view of it was incorrect. So he gave me the exact steps to perform it and be successful. Excellent.

At this point, I want to point out the not-so-obvious – I am successful (by my own standards) in some areas of my life because of my relationships. I pay my business coach because modeling is the fastest way to achieve your goals. He’s already walked where I want to walk. He knows the path. The same is true for my relationship with Pavel. Although now he’s my friend – which is very cool, I still work “for him” by teaching RKCs and our relationship still started with a business transaction – I bought one of his books, and then another, and eventually met him in person at the RKC in 2005.

Why am I pointing these two things out?

Because, there is ALWAYS a cost to success. Got a college degree? That cost somebody some coin – either your parents or you. (My dad was scholarshipped through college and then he paid my way.) You’re going to spend your time, your energy, or your money – and most likely, some combination of all three. That’s the first critical element to success – understanding, identifying, and expecting cost – time, money, and energy.

Ok, now on to the most important part of my day – the most important conversation I had, and the point of everything so far – both previous conversations.

I have a monthly gym membership. I use it when I want to lift really heavy stuff because I don’t have enough iron at my house or studio.

So I’m in there last night and the guy next to me has a chewed up 16kg kettlebell. Interesting. So I ask him, “Is that your kettlebell?”

“Yeah.”

“Cool,” I say.

“I love coming to the gym but I also love using the kettlebell – it’s hard to argue with the results I get from using it,” he says.

“I know what you mean,” I say.

Turns out this guy – Robert – is an EMT. And better yet, he’s heard of the RKC and told me that an RKC – Joe Wagner, an EMT he works with, is on a mission to get all the EMTs using kettlebells. Awesome.

I tell him I’ve heard of the RKC.

So I’m training, doing my thing, watching Robert do his thing with the kettlebell – some high pulls, some clean and presses, and they don’t look too bad. Then he starts to Swing.

Uh-oh.

So I ask him I he minds if I give him some pointers.

I tell him to take his soft, cushy shoes off and give him the two reasons why and then give him one cue for the Swing.

Bingo! Swings look instantly better.

Then I give him another cue.

Blamm-o! Swings look even better.

Then I give him the final cue and literally – kid you not, he looked like he was an RKC! (What can I say – he must’ve been a fast learner.)

Now, I had only introduced myself as Geoff and when he mentioned Joe’s name I told him I heard of the RKC. I didn’t tell him my background or any of that stuff. Why not?

Because it wasn’t about me. It was about him – Robert – a guy trying to achieve a goal and using arguably the best tool for that job. And I was in a position to help him out. So I did. Gladly. Joyfully. I got to take all the stuff that’s been poured into me and for a few minutes distill that information and make a difference in one guy’s life.

So why am I sharing all this with you? Why should you care? Am I telling you about this because I want you to be impressed or whatever? Heck no – I could care less if you’re impressed with who I know or how my day went.

I’m sharing this with you for one important reason – your success in life is directly determined by the amount of success you help others achieve.

That’s it. That’s the Big Secret. Help someone solve a problem they have. That’s it.

You want that promotion at work but aren’t getting it because you feel you aren’t noticed? Find the biggest problem you’re aware of and then solve it. Want more love in you marriage? Stop waiting for you spouse to give you what you “deserve.” Go give your wife the biggest darn hug she’s had all year. Or buy her flowers. Or make her dinner. Or tell her how beautiful she looks. Or pick up your socks and clean the toilet. And don’t do it with the expectation that you’ll “get some action” later on in return.

And do it all with your whole heart. Seek to provide the whole solution to the problem – don’t go half way. Go all in. Give it all you’ve got. Make the solution simple yet profound. I stepped in when Robert started swinging yesterday because that was where I could make the biggest impact.

Why? Because giving to someone, more than getting, provides you – the giver -with joy as well as providing a solution to someone else’s problem. And JOY isn’t something we talk about much anymore. Just look at the world around if you need proof. Not much joy there. Too many people taking, not much giving…

And that’s the second and MOST IMPORTANT step for success – pouring your time, money, and energy into other people. “Give to get” is the current axiom. But I would caution, and say rather, “Give, but expect nothing in return except your own personal joy – to [maybe] get.” I guarantee if you seek to be a resource to someone else – to help them solve their problems, eventually you’ll get what you want immediately – which is more joy and quite possibly you’ll be on the path to get where you want to go, do what you want to do, and be more of who you want to be.

Don’t believe me? Here’s a promise that’s at least 4000 years old –

“Do you see a man skilled in his work?
He will stand before kings;
He will not stand before obscure men.”

– Proverbs 22:29

Thanks for your time last night, Robert – whether you know it or not, you really helped me out – to see what’s really important – and it was the best conversation of my day.

25 comments… add one
  • Nathanael Feb 24, 2011 @ 11:22

    Really good. Reminds me of that Zig Ziglar quote – “you can get anything in life you want as long as you help enough people get what they want”

    Thanks for sharing!

  • Concetta Feb 24, 2011 @ 11:25

    I am stunned at how prescient your posts are. “Here it is – all things being equal – namely caloric content – you can and will lose body fat just by swinging or snatching a kettlebell. But, and it’s a BIG BUT (not to be confused with a “big butt”) – you must not eat more than you are currently eating.” Sometimes I need to be slapped in the face with the obvious. Thanks. Today at the gym I watched a woman swing an 8kg KB, but she was squatting instead of pushing her hips back. Her personal trainer was watching her. Do I say something? I am not RKC certified, far from it. I think next time I will respectfully mention that one fact to her PT. Good idea?

  • Paul Feb 24, 2011 @ 11:26

    Great post today Geoff. That is a powerful mindset to have in the driver’s seat for getting work done practically any aspect of life. Maybe print that one of and hang it next to the bathroom mirror to remind me every morning type of material.

    Thank you,
    Paul

  • Jason Rhymer Feb 24, 2011 @ 11:30

    Brilliant! I think I found my devotion for the Christian Fitness Bootcamp tonight! Great job!

  • Anna Feb 24, 2011 @ 11:35

    Hi Geoff, it’s funny how I’m learning the same thing in my life. I learned that if we put our focus on creating relationships with people, we would be better off personally, emotionally, and financially.

    I’m also learning that they quality of our conversations with people will affect how much we make in life. I learned that from Sean Greeley over there at NPE 🙂

  • Chris Croteau Feb 24, 2011 @ 11:42

    Nice Geoff. Good to see you grown in Christ. Right on. I’ve had to struggle with that too. Look forward to meeting you at the Chicago RKC in Sept.

    Isa 40:31

  • Noah Feb 24, 2011 @ 11:51

    Great proverb.

  • Chris Feb 24, 2011 @ 12:25

    Here’s an excerpt from an email I sent to Dave Whitley yesterday. It seems appropriate in this case.

    “I, along with most of your readers I’m sure, appreciate your time, knowledge and your willingness to share them both for free. You and Geoff (Neupert) are masters at your sport but seem to have chosen a more humble path than others who share that title. You have to make a living and do so by helping others. It is refreshing that you guys do not hide your faith in God and seem to have a good balance in your lives.

    Thanks again for everything you do for other people.”

    Chris Normand
    Lakeland, TN

  • Mark Macknis Feb 24, 2011 @ 12:27

    Powerful Reading Mr. Neupert. I guess we can’t work that muscle between our ears enough.

    You can’t pull that same trick on me………I know who you are!

  • Billy Meyer Feb 24, 2011 @ 12:37

    Geoff,
    What do you add to that. I am even more inspired to get my RKC and one day be and instructor and one day make a living at it. It’s so awesome when you can help others, which is why I coach baseball – my expertise. To see the smile on a kids face after he starts ripping the ball from a small tweak to his mechanics or body position, or just changing his grip, or queuing him in on where to pick up the ball… it’s indescribable. But it means alot to me because I’ve been where there at. Having the ability, but needing a selfless coach to work with me. Just like you with the kettlebell. This is what makes life pure “T” fun. Yeah, I just said that. And I’m glad you brought this point to life in this post. 1 Corinthians 13:13 “And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.”

  • C.J. Brown Feb 24, 2011 @ 13:52

    Geoff,
    I just finished reading Matthew Barnett’s book, “The Cause Within You: Finding The One Great Thing You Were Created To Do In This World”, and he talks about how our ’cause’ is always about serving others. You are right on, the more we speak into and help others, God uses these situations to bring US the most joy.
    Great post!
    C.J.

  • Courtney Feb 24, 2011 @ 14:23

    Does that mean I’m getting flowers tonight??? 🙂

  • Jason Feb 24, 2011 @ 14:55

    We have a phrase over in UK Plc.
    “give and take”

    The trick is, understanding, the words are in that order for a reason.

    Jason

  • Eric Moss RKC Feb 24, 2011 @ 15:59

    Geoff
    If you had mentioned the fact that you are a master RKC rather then just someone who has heard of it, it might have made the guy more likely to listen to you (especially considering the fact that the guy had an idea of what the RKC is). I would rather listen to a higher up and a teacher of teachers then some guy in the gym who has heard of the teaching school. Just my 2 cents.

  • Philip Feb 24, 2011 @ 16:46

    Great post. Some training stuff, some golden rule stuff, and some marriage counseling all rolled up into one little article.

  • Daniel Sullivan Feb 24, 2011 @ 16:50

    Hi Geoff,

    I keep having wow moments and can’t wait for your next post/ article.

    My “awesome” wife and I sat down on Moday night (my 33rd birthday) wrote down some goals.

    I don’t know if you realise it (or if your business coach would approve) but the free reflections you post are as valuable as the services you charge for.

    You are making your living with your knowledge but still have enough left over to share because knowledge has inherent value.

    My wife and I thank you for this, like i’ve said to you before we all need a sensei…

    Stay strong mate!

    Dan

  • jason pheifer Feb 24, 2011 @ 18:55

    man after the day i’ve had and the night i have ahead that was well needed thanks for sharing

  • Cindy Feb 24, 2011 @ 18:56

    Now you are not just chasing strength. You are finding it.
    Respect you big time for this post.

  • Logan Christopher Feb 24, 2011 @ 19:15

    Awesome read here.

    I especially enjoyed your explanation of how you taught the swing. I see to many people overload new people when a minimalist approach in cuing is usually best. It really shouldn’t take much to get at good technique within a couple minutes at most.

  • David Cohn Feb 24, 2011 @ 22:35

    Well done with the concept and the proverb. Way to go Jeff!

  • Paul S. Feb 24, 2011 @ 23:26

    Golden Rule.
    Awesome, humility goes a long way.
    Thanks Geoff

  • John Hanka Feb 25, 2011 @ 10:51

    Good post. Full of life and positive energy. Keep up the good work and God bless!

  • Joe Wagner Feb 27, 2011 @ 13:56

    Geoff,
    Here I sit working EMS in Durham reading about these 3 conversations, when I see “EMT” and the name “Robert.” It became instantly clear who you were speaking of. I work with him on occasion and know that he has incorporated KB into his training. Unfortunatley, I was never able to spend more than 5 mins with him during shift change to discuss form, proper form, RKC form.

    Thanks!

    And yes I spend day after day trying to get all DCEMS employees involved with KB training. They are starting to come around, one by one. Having my CK-FMS has helped out tremendously.

    Again, thanks!

  • Chris Skeats Sep 20, 2011 @ 10:24

    Something that came through to me whilst reading this post was your willingness to learn from others.

    There are many reasons to love working with kettlebells, at the top of the list is the people who I have met along the way who have been willing to share their knowledge with me and help me along my way. For that I am truly grateful. Something I learned along the way was that, despite having taught children for many years and having a very senior role in school, I had forgotten how to learn from others. My first lesson in kettlebells was how to learn and, despite passing RKC myself this year, that is still developing. I have retained my RKC because his knowledge goes way beyond anything I know and he quietly still teaches me how to learn sometimes. What I have learned from learning has changed how I approach teaching and also how I support other staff to be better teachers.

  • Scott Mooney Feb 4, 2012 @ 15:34

    Awesome! Love the fact you brought it back to the Word of God!

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